Kevin Keegan, the Restroom and Why England Fans Must Treasure This Period

Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has always been the reliable retreat of your Daily, and writers stay alert regarding memorable lavatory incidents and key events, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to learn that an online journalist a well-known presenter owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet at his home. Spare a thought for the Barnsley fan who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and needed rescuing from an empty Oakwell stadium after falling asleep on the loo at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “His footwear was missing and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained a representative from Barnsley fire services. And who can forget when, at the height of his fame with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli visited a nearby college to use the facilities in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a student told a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Lavatory Departure

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century since Kevin Keegan stepped down from the England national team post a quick discussion within a restroom stall together with Football Association official David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback versus Germany during 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the legendary venue. As Davies remembers in his diary, his confidential FA records, he entered the drenched troubled England locker room directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, both players begging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies located him seated – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to salvage the situation.

“Where could we possibly locate [for a chat] that was private?” stated Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Just a single choice remained. The restroom stalls. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history took place in the vintage restrooms of a stadium facing demolition. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I shut the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I'm unable to energize the team. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Consequences

Consequently, Keegan quit, eventually revealing he viewed his stint as England manager “empty”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I began working with the visually impaired team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It’s a very difficult job.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley toilets and those two towers have long disappeared, whereas a German currently occupies in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: National team followers, value this time. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

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Quote of the Day

“We remained in an extended queue, in just our underwear. We represented Europe's top officials, top sportspeople, examples, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We barely looked at each other, our gazes flickered a bit nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina examined us thoroughly with an ice-cold gaze. Quiet and watchful” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem named ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to oversee the primary team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and distributed some merchandise, I've opted to write and offer a concise remark. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations on the school grounds with children he anticipated would defeat him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|